Loss and Gain
October 11, 2011
time has come and gone and in the passing of this much has transpired. We have succeeded in our claim against the workers comp system, due in no small part to Bianca and the Faeries that accompanied her, in this campaign against the balance of Corporate greed and injustice.
During the last two weeks of August I began to get the name “Edwin” in my mind when thinking thoughts of other humans or just in day dreaming. By the days end of the first day of September Edwin introduced himself to me as my guide and helper to be for the time to come. With this introduction my heart new that Bianca would soon join the missing in action list that grows far too large for my likes. I had surgery scheduled again for the 15th to repair the hernia I had acquired at work recently. By the 10th of the month Bianca had said her goodbye’s and once again heartbreak filled my life. This is the worst part of the association with the Faery World accompanied by the most exciting aspect of meeting and really getting to know other Faeries on a very personal level. Edwin is an Elf designated to help me through the time of healing and to be my advisor for the football season. Edwin you see is a huge Texan’s fan. Not that he has ever visited Houston you understand but the fact that he foresees this a big growth year for his chosen team. Now the fact that I am a Raider follower plays no part in our friendship, except for any given Sunday and since the two teams will meet in week 5 at Houston certainly makes this an interesting rivalry. When week five arrived I could tell the advise Edwin had for me was awfully painful. He came to me with head bowed as he offered this tidbit for the coming Sunday. “Ron, bet the Raiders by 3 this week.” Now knowing that Edwin’s heart bled red, white and blue this season made this a certainty. Sure enough by Sunday’s setting sun the Texans had fallen by 5 to the lucky Raiders who picked a pass in the end zone on the last play of the contest. Although wounded, Edwin and I laughed about his knowledge of the game as our conversation turned towards the week to come in pro football.
Mid September has fallen and my hernia operation was a success as declared by my surgeon and Edwin. The path to healing has been rapid with soreness but very little pain. This I owe to Edwin and his wisdom of medicine and of the NFL. He has been a good friend and companion and it is easy to share my body and thoughts with such a enriched soul. It is with great sadness that the end of the Summer is near as is my close friendship with Edwin. Once again he has come to me with sadness in his heart as he tells me that I have exceeded all expectations of a quick recovery and soon it will time for him to go. Beginning the week of October second, Edwin began to move away from me on the weekends and each Sunday brought an emptiness that could not be shared with Edwin as his absence on the couch for the big game was the cause of my melancholy. It was difficult to cheer for anything other than Edwin as I tried to feel nothing but the gift of gratitude in the place his absence. I awoke early morning the following Friday to a barrage of Faeries swirling beneath my feet as I made my way to the bathroom. Appearing above the commode was a lengthy note embedded in the shows of night. I tried in desperation to read it but without glasses I was dead in the waters. I did note a large sun flower at the end of the message not even without sight I was able to see. The sun brought mornings’ light and with this an emptiness that has become far too familiar for my soul. Edwin had said his goodbyes in the night with the reading I was unable to see. My heart fell to the floor with the weight of all the Faeries that have come before, Cassandra, Christina, Samson, Seth, Willa, Bella, Bianca and now my dear friend Edwin.
It is a heartfelt painful process to recount the losses of each little soul. Again I am able to gain solace in The Faeries that I awaken to on this morning are also filled with the melancholy darkness of loss. They have not introduced themselves yet but I know that this too is a process that we had encountered with the passing of each friendship. I have felt nothing of this sort of sadness in this way towards any human I have ever encountered. The lack of knowledge for this emotion makes it difficult to put to words the feeling that accompany my soul at this time.
October 19, 2011
A new day glistens on the sun drenched horizon and I have many winged ones in my life this day. Elaina has introduced herself as my new guide and she will be the spark plug for the machine that drives my life in the coming days. There are others with her and they come to see that all remains well during the first few days of our exchange of souls. Each Faery wants to see what this human experience is all about. They hear stories about Karen and I but some seem so far fetched due to the kindness and reception of each Faery as an individual. Karen and except each little soul with open mind and heart as they enter our world with permission of the Counsel of twelve and the Queen herself. It is a family that we construct and each is an element of the final product. This is the fun part that fills the holes of emptiness that remain from the departure of the others. Today is a new day filled with mystery and the excitement of new and lasting friendships if nowhere else but in my heart that has been enlarged by their undying love.